I have been engaged in a war with my waistline, the scale, and my overall fitness for as long as I can remember. When I say this, of course, I realize the war is not so much with these things as it is with the woman in the mirror, but I've worked more diligently in the last 2 years than ever before to correct lifelong bad habits and to find a balance between either extreme where my health is concerned, be it over-eating or obsessing about calorie counting and exercise. It has been a long journey fraught with chocolate, cheese, and all things sweet and fatty. In fact, hardly a moment has gone by when I have not thought about food in some way. It's rather embarrassing to even admit, but true nonetheless.
Between a minor knee injury, missing a few workouts, indulging in a birthday cake, a few fast food stops, and the dang Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla haunting me in the freezer, I've found myself on a slippery slope this week. My willpower has been paper thin and that evil, highly-critical voice in my head is raging at my reflection with no mercy in sight. This fault-finding gloom will, of course, get me nowhere… or at least not any place I want to visit again. It is in an attempt to shut that nasty little voice up that today, I am acknowledging (oh so publicly) the accomplishments I have made by taking you on a tour of my pound-shedding trek rather than waste another second fretting over how far I still have to go.
Please understand how difficult it was to dig up the following pictures. First of all, I have always made my place behind the camera, so pictures of me were few and far between. Clearly a result of the second and not so surprising fact that I wasn't (and still am not) terribly fond of the way I looked. Nevertheless, and again reminding myself that looking back can be quite cathartic, I present to you the "fat pictures."
(Note: It isn't that nasty little voice calling me fat in these pictures. I think it is important to be honest with yourself, and the first step for me was owning it. I was fat!)
I have tried every possible way of weight loss you can imagine, most of the time gaining the weight back within a matter of months, if losing any at all. Crash diets, pills, and cutting out any one particular food group never worked for me. It didn't help that I always seemed to have an excuse for my unhealthy ways of eating and (lack of) activity- pregnancies, c-sections, nursing babies, long distance moves- but really it was simply the overwhelming notion of how much I actually needed to lose that kept me from getting off the couch. Seems silly in retrospect.
My weight crept up slowly over the course of 8 years and 3 babies, but it was in May 2012, tipping the scales at 215 pounds, I decided enough was enough. I was on a visit to Texas celebrating my (slender) sister's college graduation, and my sister-in-law shared her weapon of choice in the battle of the bulge- an app called "MyFitnessPal." It was so simple… well, in the way that it worked anyway. It gave me a daily calorie allotment and provided an easy way to log food and exercise. Because I was painfully aware of my ineffectual habit of overwhelming myself with too much change too quickly, I chose to focus solely on portion control and not concern myself for the moment with daily exercise routines. Naturally, when realizing how many calories were in certain foods (because they are listed right on the back of the box!), I made wiser choices in how I "spent" my given calories.
The first several weeks were torture. My will-power has never been particularly stout, but the "215" staring back at me from the scale below had been forever burned into my memory and gave me the 215 extra reasons I needed to stay strong and move along. When I felt I had my calorie-consumption under better control, I added regular physical activity by joining the Y and participating in group classes, like Zumba and Boot Camp. With the gradual habit changes and unyielding persistence the pounds began to fall off week after week, a couple at a time.
Shocking, right? It was just as I had always been taught- the most effective path to achieving a healthy weight is through (proper) diet and exercise!
It's been almost two years now, and I'd like to tell you I never wavered. I initially lost close to 45 pounds before a move (and various other excuses) broke my MyFitnessPal routine. I have gained some of those pounds back (and then lost a few again), but I remain determined to get back on the horse each time I falter understanding that my lifestyle is still very different from where I began.
After grueling weeks like this one, I do well to recognize how far I've come and acknowledge the achievements of every pound or inch lost. That can't be done without sharing these more recent pictures… with the sincere hope you forget you ever saw the others!
I have tried every possible way of weight loss you can imagine, most of the time gaining the weight back within a matter of months, if losing any at all. Crash diets, pills, and cutting out any one particular food group never worked for me. It didn't help that I always seemed to have an excuse for my unhealthy ways of eating and (lack of) activity- pregnancies, c-sections, nursing babies, long distance moves- but really it was simply the overwhelming notion of how much I actually needed to lose that kept me from getting off the couch. Seems silly in retrospect.
My weight crept up slowly over the course of 8 years and 3 babies, but it was in May 2012, tipping the scales at 215 pounds, I decided enough was enough. I was on a visit to Texas celebrating my (slender) sister's college graduation, and my sister-in-law shared her weapon of choice in the battle of the bulge- an app called "MyFitnessPal." It was so simple… well, in the way that it worked anyway. It gave me a daily calorie allotment and provided an easy way to log food and exercise. Because I was painfully aware of my ineffectual habit of overwhelming myself with too much change too quickly, I chose to focus solely on portion control and not concern myself for the moment with daily exercise routines. Naturally, when realizing how many calories were in certain foods (because they are listed right on the back of the box!), I made wiser choices in how I "spent" my given calories.
The first several weeks were torture. My will-power has never been particularly stout, but the "215" staring back at me from the scale below had been forever burned into my memory and gave me the 215 extra reasons I needed to stay strong and move along. When I felt I had my calorie-consumption under better control, I added regular physical activity by joining the Y and participating in group classes, like Zumba and Boot Camp. With the gradual habit changes and unyielding persistence the pounds began to fall off week after week, a couple at a time.
Shocking, right? It was just as I had always been taught- the most effective path to achieving a healthy weight is through (proper) diet and exercise!
It's been almost two years now, and I'd like to tell you I never wavered. I initially lost close to 45 pounds before a move (and various other excuses) broke my MyFitnessPal routine. I have gained some of those pounds back (and then lost a few again), but I remain determined to get back on the horse each time I falter understanding that my lifestyle is still very different from where I began.
After grueling weeks like this one, I do well to recognize how far I've come and acknowledge the achievements of every pound or inch lost. That can't be done without sharing these more recent pictures… with the sincere hope you forget you ever saw the others!
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